Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Relationships




There are people who will come into your life that will take you hostage. Because they are incapable or unwilling to meet their own needs they use other people to get their needs met.

We all need other people at times. We all need the love and support of family or friends but I'm referring to people who need more than a little aid. They require huge amounts of your times, never giving back to the relationship. They are called "takers". If you are by nature a "giver" you can become a "mark" for these hostage takers.

Recognizing them can be tricky. Usually that are master manipulators that have captivated you before you realize what happened. They could be loved ones, family or close friends, a neighbor or a complete stranger. Getting
involved with them is like allowing a murderer in your door. They will literally kill your way of life, your inner peace and your lifestyle.

The hard part is how to recognize these people before they take over your life. The most obvious sign is when one by one you give up things or values you love in order to accommodate their needs. Believing you are only "helping" you rearrange your life, ignore your needs, to help them reach their goals. Secondly you will notice you give more to the relationship than they do. You will also be giving more to the
relationship then you give time to your own interests. The best indication is when they are happy and you are miserable. If you find yourself in this kind of relationship "Run", don't walk, "AWAY". You are learning the lesson of "letting go".

With deep respect! Namaste'

Sherry
Byrum

10 comments:

Suecae Sounds said...

True words. But hard to follow by when you are in their sphere of influence. Since manipulative people are often willing to go to extreme measures in swaying you with their bullshit.

Well. That wasn't very tactfully put by me, but it is nonetheless true. Thank you for writing this.

In respect,

Jeanne said...

Unfortunately 'Takers' are all too common anymore. And quite frequently, they are family members. Which makes it even harder to distance yourself from them without causing hard feelings. But for our own well being, distance ourselves we must.

Brightest Blessings My Friend! :0)

Gail H. Ragsdale said...

So true, so well written. Involved in a relationship right now of a "taker" and am trying to disengage myself from it and it is very hard.
Thank you for writing this!
In light and love, gail

Light and Shadow Studio said...

This is soooo true. I have had a few friends I had to break it off with and felt so guilty for doing it. Once free of them, I realized how harmful it was. I am a caregiver and have learned to let go as I have gotten older and I am much happier for it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts it was well expressed. Tammy

Sarah said...

Yes Sherry this is so ture!! Beautifully writen post hon! I struggle with this too..the letting them go part. So hard once they have emeshed themselves into your life. Ackkk.kinda dealing with this right now myself...thank you for the reminder hon!
Hugs and love, Sarah

prim country farms said...

Sherry how true your words are. I recently had to remove a person from my life because of the reasons you wrote about. It was hard for me to turn my back on her but I was drowning in her misery. It had to stop!! Thank you for writing this post.
Hugs
Chris

Suzie said...

Sherry, back in the 70's, I went through such a relationship and it nearly destroyed me before I escaped, but I did, and now consider myself a survivor.
It happens SO subtlely, in retrospect you wonder how a person can't see it happening.
After some professional help to understand why and how, I learned the keys to look for.
You've done everyone a great service by sharing these guidelines today. And while it is sometimes easy to see this happening, it isn't always so easy to distance yourself.
If you can't do it on your own, don't be afraid to reach out to understanding friends or family, or professionals. There is no shame in it, and it may make the difference in your health, both physical and emotional.

Blessings for you, Sherry

Brenda LaBell said...

Oh Sherry, how true your words!! I agree with some of the others though, there does seem to be far more takers in this world we live in today!! I am a GIVER and I am guilty of giving more than I have to give some times, but I am more aware of myself and my ways as I grow older and now know when to make limitations better. Great mental health piece Sherry, thanks for sharing and reminding us not to fall victum of the TAKERS!!!

((Hugs))
Brenda

Sherry Byrum said...

Ahhh thanks to each and every one of you! I am so touched that others understand and benefited from my posting it.
I agree with all that you have commented.

Jingle said...

This is a great post. Thanks for sharing these thoughts!